Thursday, July 31, 2008

Gender Roles

So, earlier today, I wrote a blog about how easily some people get offended and how they need to get over it.

I write now to tell you that I am a total hipocrite.

Someone offended me on the highest level today. Few things offend me, but if any of you really want to get me all hot and bothered (and not in the good way), all you need to do is bring up gender roles.

I decided to try to strike up a convo with someone that I am really not that fond of today. Big Mistake!!! Mr. Stuffy (name changed here) had zucchini behind his desk, so I asked him if he was going to make bread. He gave me a strange look,so I pointed to the zukes.

He gave a disgusted look and told me that his wife, not him would be making the bread, because in his house they follow traditional gender roles. I tried to blow it off and commented that it was probably because she liked to cook and he didn't. He told me that it wasn't that at all- they followed proper gender roles...she did all domestic stuff and he worked outside the home. He told me all of this in a tone that I didn't really appreciate.

I decided that I would try to let it go. Those who know me well, know that I never just let something go...

Later, he was trying to get ahold of a certain travel agent, but couldn't. It was late afternoon, so I presented the idea that maybe she had gone homefor the day. He seemed disgusted and said that it she should be there for when he calls. I told him that she was probably at home baking bread... isn't that what she is supposed to do to fulfill her female role in life? He didn't like my answer. I am such a bitch and I love it!

Some say that arguing ignorance only makes it worse, but who is going to defend me if I don't?

"Men are not the enemy, but the fellow victims. The real enemy is women's denigration of themselves."
Betty Friedan (1921 - 2006)

I think that Mr. Stuffy can have whatever opinion he wants to have, but I really don't think it is appropriate or considerate of him to bring it up in a professional environment. He blantantly told me that he doesn't want me there. I don't really care if he doesn't, but I do care if he is unprofessional. And for the record, I don't want to work with him either.

"Women have more to offer this world than just a fallopian tube. Nothing is going to change until you quit looking at us as just sperm receptacles."
Barbara Hall, Northern Exposure, Baby Blues, 1994

Offended Vanity

"Offended vanity is the great separator in social life."
Arthur Helps

As most of you know, I am the world's biggest smack talker. I live to give others a hard time. I have been a little worried about this favorite past time lately...people sometimes seem to get so offended by what I meant as a joke. Am I in the wrong or are they just TOO sensitive?

An example:

I love making fun of east coasters. Why? Simple. They are freaking east coasters. East coasters are so uptight. They live to work; whereas, here in the Pacific Northwest, we work to live. There is a huge difference. So, I was making fun of east coasters, and someone corrected me saying that not all east coasters are anal retentive freaks of nature. I had forgotten about Southerners. Didn't they open up a can of worms? The only thing worse than an east coaster is a southerner.

Yes, southerners have a reputation of southern hospitality, but that hospitality is all a bunch of crap. You know those women are talking about your outfit as you leave and would sleep with your husband if they had a chance. They are fake.

As a joke, I mentioned to some mormon women that I get along great with southerners and their fakey attitudes, because I am used to it; I grew up mormon.

Oh boy! Whew did I piss of some ladies...It was a joke....a simple joke. The problem was that it certainly hit home.

So, who was in the wrong here? Should I have kept my mouth shut (an impossible task for me), or should they have accepted that it was an obvious joke and got over themselves?

As most know, I am not easily offended, so naturally, I think the latter is the solution. When I was young, I occasionally got all butt hurt over stuff that I thought was a direct insult to me or something I value, but my father would always tell me to "go get some self esteem." While I may be totally unepathetic when I state this, I tell all of you to "GO GET SOME SELF ESTEEM!!!"

Where can you find self esteem? I could get all sentimental and touchy here, but I won't. That just isn't my style. I can only tell you what I do. We all know we aren't perfect. I am far from perfect... I have the grace of a hippo, the mouth of a rooster, and the perverse mind of a 12 yr old boy. I also have a very intuitive mind, a deeply caring heart, and the biggest shit eating grin on the planet. For every negative (or seemingly negative) quality that could make me feel horrible about myself, I match it with something great about myself. None of us are perfect, so it isn't very exceptional that we have flaws. We all have flaws. What truly defines us is our exceptional talents and positive character traits.

So, next time I am the rude ass I tend to be and I make you feel bad about yourself, just remind your self that you are aren't a rude ass like Brooke.

"I've had nothing yet", Alice replied in an offended tone: "so I ca'n't take more."
"You mean you ca'n't take *less*. It's very easy to take *more* than nothing."
the Mad Hatter's response to Alice (Lewis Carroll)

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Life: A Most Interesting Adventure

People tell me I have a most interesting life or that I am a most interesting person.

My friends, you are so hard on yourselves...perhaps you have an interesting life and you just don't know it. Step back and appreciate what you have.

From the mouth of Socrates,"The unexamined life is not worth living."

What constitutes an interesting life? Do we care if OTHER people think it’s interesting? Do we care if WE think it’s interesting? Does it just have to be different?

For me, it boils down to having a life that is exciting to live. Spontaneity is what excites me (among other things that are less than appropriate for blogging).

Every day when I wake up I’m excited about my new day. I know, from experience, that I can’t possibly predict what will happen that day. By the end of the day, I may be in another city, I may have met a new best friend, I may have found a new hobby, or I may have completely altered the course of my life.

This course of uncertainty obviously isn’t the definition of an interesting life, but it’s a sure way to have an interesting life. Interesting things happen to me with enough frequently that I am not in the least bit surprised when one comes around. Spontaneity is interesting to're way of making your life interesting will almost definately be different.

Another reason my life seems interesting is because most people DON’T have interesting lives. It’s the contrast of the average. We are conditioned from BIRTH to be boring. Parents have one mission: to ensure the survival of their children. Not to ensure the outlandish success and happiness of their children, but their mere survival.

I had a near perfect childhood. My parents were married, loving, supportive, had enough money to put nutritious food on the table, had reasonable but strict rules, and made their children their top priority. By any metric, I had a fantastic childhood.

However, if I had followed all of my parents’ advice, I would lead a boring life. Interesting doesn’t ensure survival; caution does. Unfortunately, caution also prevents an interesting life from unfolding.

Most people reading this don’t follow their parents’ advice anymore. I mean most of are over 12 yrs old; you probably don’t get much advice anymore. However, your parents have drilled into your subconscious that you need to be cautious and careful.

You don’t. I repeat, YOU DON'T!

There are three main kinds of risks I feel necessary to take in order to keep my life interesting to me. Here they are, in order of importance:

1. Social risks. Social risks have ZERO cost to them. Go talk to someone new. Say what’s on your mind. The only risk you make is the risk of being insanely popular and making new friends. Pretty frightening!

2.Financial risks. It’s pretty well established that the only way to make money is to risk your own money. Getting a job doesn’t count - it’s not real money. If you’re a smart person (and if you read my blog, you probably are), you will NEVER be broke for a long period of time. I haven't met any incredibely smart homeless people. Put your money where your mouth is. If you have a great idea, DO IT. You may lose money once or twice, but eventually, your risk should pay off. If you lose money, remember money isnt everything and interestingly enough, the most boring people I know have lots of cash.

3. The last type of risk you should take are physical risks. Those who know me well, know that I have risked my physical health more than a few times. I would like to remind you all, that I have survived all of those experiences. Thanks to our parents, we GREATLY overestimate our chances of getting hurt. Occasional pain is worth having an interesting life.

So, let's all try to have an interesting life.... If all else fails, think : “What Would Brooke Do?” That sounds so DANGEROUS!

Me..a blogger?

So, my good friend Allanna has inspired me to try this whole blogging thing. I cannot promise even a smidgen of the cuteness and cleverness that she embodies in her blog (or any pictures of cute kidlets), but I thought maybe a blog could help me clear my mind. I also wanted to give all you turds a way to keep track of me considering I do have the nasty habit of falling of the face of the earth and disappearing for days at a time.

Anyway, if any of you are interested in snippets of adorablility, check out Allanna's blog: