Hobo Shopping

I went shopping with my friend Charlee yesterday.

We went to the classiest of joints, so of course, we started at Ross Dress For Less...

I looked in the mirror and I looked unmistakably like a transient.  By the way, I am a very good looking transient.

I found out, surprisingly, that sequined jumpsuits may not be the best choice for the plump American woman... disappointing.


We were trying to find fabulous dresses for Charlee's Birthday Extravaganza this weekend...alas....this is what I found:

Pants of My Future

I love the pants.  I am losing weight just to wear pants like these...a goiter belly really cant pull them off.  Only problem:  I am sure I will immediately start bleeding as soon as I put these on.

Not Just Big Boned

So, I have been on a diet for about a month now.  I started right before news years.  It is a new years resolution thing, but I started early so I would gorge myself and give myself ten extra pounds to lose.

I have lost a little over 7 pounds.  I feel good.  Dont worry, I am not going to disgust you with what I ate....maybe with descriptions of my shits, but this is not about that.  For the first time in my life, I can see myself actually losing weight.  It isnt just an effort made while really believing, or knowing that the first time I see cheesecake, I am going to eat it.... and not just a slice...I am going to eat the whole damn thing. 

So, if anyone else is dieting, hit me up.. I am on MyFitnessPal.com....I use the mobile app.

I think the positive outlook has come from finally being realistic with myself.  I cannot just tell myself I am big boned.  I am fat.  I may not be grossly O-Beast....I may be healthy, but I am getting older and the fat will catch up to me.  This conversation with myself was not negative..I believe in myself and I know I am a beautiful human being. 

The conversation was realistic.

There are certain things I want in life.  In order to achieve some of those, I need to present myself in the best ways possible.  I need to be fit and healthy.  While I am healthy and strong now... I need to not look like a jelly donut...although I do love jelly donuts!

Joe Pa and Steven Tyler

– So, I feel for Joe Paterno. He gets the boot right before finding out he is dying and then he dies months later. He was a cute little old man too. I like little old people. They are like little dolls. My friend Dustin gives the best tribute: RIP Joe Paterno ..by RIP, he means Report Information on Pedophiles.

I listened to Steven Tyler's rendition of the star spangled banner today. Terrible, I agree, but give the guy a break. He is like 8,000 years old. Pretty good for a mummy.

The Grinch

Why do I hate Christmas??????

I have figured it out. It has to do with those assholes singing in my face, smelling of Idaho Gold, asking for money. I cant even decipher what you are saying dude...and you think I should pay you for that serenade?

My Whorish Vagina

Uggghhh.... Doctor visit after Doctor visit. This whole ordeal of health just seems like unending torture!

Today I had two appts. The first was my first appt. with my new physical therapist. I like her a lot. I dislike the scheduler in the office. ALOT. Other than the vaginal exam...all was great.

The second appt was for an ultrasound. After explaining the whole shebang, the technician asked it I was concerned about the internal...vaginal part of the exam. I told her that recently everyone has been there...so have at it. She found that funny.

Well, hopefully we can fix this sciatic pain. The ovary pain...looks like it probably isnt a pelvic floor issue. My crotch muscles run strong...thanks mom for teaching me about keigels.

Virtual Bodies...

Thank you to the beautiful Miss Desiree who shared this with me. Truthfully, I had to look google H and R to even know what they were... haha... but it is pretty unsettling to know that no one has a body perfect enough for some of the retailers out there - but only because they havent seen my naked body. I hide out under layers of clothes so that I am not chased down as a runway underwear model! Oops! My secret is out.

http://jezebel.com/5865114/hm-puts-real-model-heads-on-fake-bodies

Forgot my luggage in the Middle East

I was reading through some of the blogs that interest me. I remember a time when I was truly involved with the causes I care for. Now, I read and forget. I dont act. I lost some sort of motivation when I went to Iraq. It depresses me. The realization makes me act less. I think about being more involved and then I decide that no one really gives a crap what I think. What the hell is wrong with me? Where the hell did Brooke go?

Marie Curie's Zombie Message

Eating Well

So, my recent soup turned out well. Thank goodness. I have only attempted a random soup veggie thing once and it didnt turn out. I didnt think about the beets... Warning to all. Add Beets - EVERYTHING turns red and EVERYTHING tastes like beets. I really like beets... but this does prove that there sometimes can be too much of a good thing.

I had gotten a little carried away with my tasking for the thanksgiving relish tray... I brought 4 large trays...lol.. I had lots of left over carrots, celery, and cucumber. So, I used my favorite appliance ever - the food processor. I threw everything in there...chopped it all up with some garlic and shallots... then threw it in the crock pot with veggie broth, my broccoli slaw that I need to use before it became toxic waste, some left over rice, red potatoes, and some maple sausage. Few Hours LAter - TADA! Dinner! And Richard and Sean really like it...although Richard thinks it tastes like squash. I am assuming he is tasting the carrots and just associates the squash because squash is one of those things that I like to add.... squash, nuts, and mushrooms...they almost always show up in my cooking. Sean likes eating this with Parmesan risotto.

Julia made us a great casserole. It is very simple... It has potatoes, cabbage, and kielbasa... oh, and cheese. I am not quite sure the exact recipe... She made mine with cornstarch rather than flour. She so nicely respects my gluten free lifestyle. My bum appreciates that!